Weekly News Digest VI

1. Cops follow cheetos trail to nail burglar suspect. The link. 3 teenagers burglarized a recreation center vending machine and apparently got hungry while fleeing the scene. Quote: "The officers followed the orange, dusty trail from the rec center, around the side of the building and to a nearby home. Inside, they found numerous vending-sized bags of Cheetos and other snacks."

2. Satisfaction brings man out of coma. The link. Sam Carter, a retired baker, was in a coma for ten weeks. His wife played I Can't Get No Satisfaction and the man immediately came to. Mr. Carter "said he would like to thank Mick Jagger and the other Rolling Stones." Probably the only good thing to result from The Rolling Stones.

3. Fisherman's ashes become bait. The link. "Pete always said that when he died he wanted his ashes to be mixed in with ground bait," Caroline Hodge said. "He wanted the fish to gobble him up so he could swim up and down the river after his death."

4. Mexican woman fights off lion with machete after it attacks donkey. The link. My favorite this week. First of all, I love the title, that's a lot to digest. Secondly, this quote: "A Mexican woman says she fought a 225-kilogram lion with a machete near the resort city of Acapulco and scared him away." What I wanna know: Did the lion just sit and wait while she calculated his weight from pounds to kilograms? I'm more impressed with her command of the metric system than her machete skills.

5. Toddler makes late-night candy run. The link. A 3-year old in England left home in the middle of the night to go to the candy store. Quote: "While the boy's timing was bad, he had come prepared with money and a front-door key to his home, although he left the door open behind him." The kid sounds more responsible than my 20 year old. I say: let 'em have the candy and give him a later bedtime.