My New Redneck Jacuzzi

-
So Doug comes over bright & early Saturday morning & says,

"Can Tom come out & play?"

-


-


-
-


-

--
Three hours & 2 bowls of chili later, Tom says,

"I know!

Let's build a pond!!"

-
-
3 more hours later they excitedly dragged me down to see my
new redneck jacuzzi.

We're Makin' a List.....

... and checking it twice.

Eva & I wrapped some presents yesterday. Some of them were difficult for her to part with, she wanted them all.
-
After wrapping, we sat down on the edge of the bed and began writing our lists of who we wrapped for and who else we need to buy for, we made shopping lists and to-do lists. Eva pointed out that "sometimes ballerinas write with their Pookie." Oh-kay. Got it. She's a ballerina today.
-
Eva began whisperiing, "Alexa and Emma.... Kylie.... Hey, Pookie, what's Kylie's mom's name? My teachers... Ms. Melissa..... & bad Ms. Melissa."
-
"Whoa," says I, "bad Ms. Melissa?
"Why is bad Ms. Melissa bad?" Man, I tried to get the scoop from her, but couldn't get anything definite. I think bad Ms. Melissa just yells too much.
-
Then Eva perked up, "My mommy likes flowers! . . But flowers are too expensive. . . She likes green cereal!" (applejacks) She bent back over to write more, "I'm gonna get her green cereal!!"
-
Boy, won't her mommy be surprised.
-
Only 26 days, 15 hours, 27 minutes left til

Christmas, but who's counting?

Happy Shopping, be sure to enjoy the season & take time to celebrate Christ, the reason for the season.
-

May I Present:

The Pink Lady

My good friend, Jennifer Smith, introduced me to the best apple in the whole wide world. The Pink Lady. She's a cross between Golden Delicious and Lady Williams. Like a true lady, she has a natural pink blush. Like me, she is sweet, but tart. She was developed, quite recently, by the Dept. of Agriculture in Western Australia. Jenn got her Pink Ladies from the Carver's orchard in the Tennessee mountains, Cosby, TN, where she also found a high school for her husband to transfer to so Jenn can move & see more snow & more apples.

The best thing to do with the Pink Lady, as with any lady, is to love her as she is. However, if you, like most men, must change the lady, here are some ways to alter her, a few interesting recipes, none of which have I tried; you're going solo on this one, I cannot be a part of altering The Pink Lady. Go get you a bagful and fall in love.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

--
-

You shouldn't be here.

-

You should be:

• sleeping off a huge meal
• watching football
• fighting with family
• hiding Aunt Dot's pea soup

It's Thanksgiving! Quit reading blogs, updating twitter or facebook & pretending to be working.
Go... enjoy your family!

Day's Parlor

DAY'S PARLOR

by Emily Dickinson
The day came slow, till five o'clock,

Then sprang before the hills

Like hindered rubies, or the light

A sudden musket spills.

The purple could not keep the east,

The sunrise shook from fold,

Like breadths of topaz, packed a night,

The lady just unrolled.

The happy winds their timbrels took;

The birds, in docile rows,

Arranged themselves around their prince

(The wind is prince of those).

The orchard sparkled like a Jew, --

How mighty 't was, to stay

A guest in this stupendous place,

The parlor of the day!

Week of Emma Comes 2 An End, Gatlinburg

We had an awesome week with Emma. Hope you've enjoyed coming along on our adventures.

My final day with Emma included a stop at her favorite Gatlinburg place: The Arcade. Remember yesterday, I left off with me & Carleen dancing merrily on the Dance Revolution game. When the game ended, we had to go find Emma & her crew.

This is where we found them:-

Teaching Emma to play Skee Ball.
-

Somewhere during the day, Emma figured out if she had "tickets," she could exchange them for a prize or two. So now, Emma was all about tickets. Jenn knew exactly what game gives you the most tickets, the biggest bang for your buck - Skee Ball.

-

-

With Aunt Lisa's instruction, backed by 40+ years of experience, Emma knew she could master this game.

-

-
She was a mite aggressive at first. Balls were flying. Aunt Lisa had to coax her into rolling the balls, not heaving them.

-

-

-

-

-

-

-B

But sadly, Emma still didn't have many tickets. She just couldn't get the balls up in the high score slots with her little, bity self. Three lousy tickets won't even get a girl a tootsie roll, let alone a sparkly ring. Every girl needs a sparkly ring.
-
-
-
-
--

-

-

-

-

-
-
-S

So we brought in the Big Guns.
The High Rollers.
The Power Playas.



-

-
-
-Time
Time to Bump a Buck, Baby.
The tickets came pouring out.
Jackpot!
Emma got her rack and started raking it in.

-
-
-
-
-

Emma then counteracted the House Edge with a smooth move of her own:


-
-
-

She cashed her chips, errr, I mean turned in her tickets & took 4Evah choosing her loot.

--

-

-

-

It was finally time to go, but geez, where's dad?

-

-

-
--
-
We finally found him in the corner having an interesting conversation with Ole Mac. He was trying to free Ole Mac, we had to pull him away.

-
-
-

---

-

-

-

-

-

-

--

-
We left Gatlinburg and made the long journey home. On the way, we stopped at Cracka Barrel for dad's birthday luncheon. To his dismay, Emma generously helped him with his birthday dessert.

Ooooo.

I love me some Emma.

Funky Town, Gatlinburg, TN

We've been going to Gatlinburg for 17 years, yet Emma found someplace we'd never been before.

• Funky music.
• Flashing Lights.
• Dark Corners.

Carleen & I saw this sign at the same time. We looked at each other. We looked at the sign. Back at each other.
-
Oh yeah, this has us written all over it.

We popped in our tokens & cranked up the musak.
(Click here to listen.)

"gotta make a move to a town that's right for me, a town to keep me movin', keep me movin with energy..."

OK, so we're having trouble moving. A little help, please. How do you operate this thing??

Jen was on the sideline telling us what to do, being the superfreak that she is, she's superfreaky. So she says we watch the screen and it will tell us upon which spots to put our feet and when. Apparently, it goes so fast, that if we follow it precisely, then we will be dancing like John Travolta. We believed her.

Now you can see, clearly I'm getting the hang of it, my 70's disco days are coming back to me, but Carleen, well, she's having trouble, she's just a young whippersnapper and not that familiar with disco. She's probably never even been to Funky Town before, and trust me, sister, I've seen Funky Town, I may have even invented it.

-But wait a minute..... UhOh.....

-

Check her out!

(I think she was following the instructions, whereas it appears I was simply doing the swim 1 dance) (however, in my favor, at least I don't look like Mary Poppins)

1. THE SWIM You do The Twist with your hips and legs and do all sorts of swimming (or diving) motions with your hands.

TN: Gatlinburg - If You're Gonna Ride.... (Gatlinburg Restaurants)

.... don't ride the white horse.

So... one night after dinner.... we splurged.

Went a little crazy.

It's all Emma's fault.

She got almost all of us on horseback.


Even ol' money bags herself.

The Flying Horse Grill, Pigeon Forge, TN. Excellent food, excellent service, most excellent ride.

The View From Driftwood's Window

OK, so he HAD to rub it in, didn't he?

(check out the tire tracks - what's that - his wife's walmart run?)

Snow Angels, Gatlinburg, TN

OK, so Jen was a little obsessed about the snow.

-

She wanted so badly to see snow on this trip. She woke up several times in the night to peek out the window & watch for snow.
-

-

-

-

-

-

--

-
-
-
So in the snowless morning, I donned my sporty glasses, and jumped in the car to head to a snowless breakfast.
-
-
-
I'm starting to question my sporty glasses.
-

---

-
--
-
-
-
Anyway, so we all jumped in the car. Did I mention we all jumped in the car?

"No," mom says, "Honestly, we have plenty of room. Go ahead, pull your seat back a few more inches."

-

-

-

-
-
-
And we drove on down the road.

Well... not just any road. It was a tad bit picturesque.

-

A-huh. And do you see that? You got it -- snow. Just a thousand feet above us.

-

We drove a little further and we saw that same snow on some of the cars around us.

-

Could Jen let it be? Could she accept that?

-

-

No, I didn't think so. She made me pull over so she could gather snow off a parked vehicle and put it all on my vehicle.

-

Oh yeah, now it was our turn to shine. We drove down the street with snow on our car and people pointing at us and mouthing "is that snow??" & us saying "Ummm, yeah, like totally."

-
-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

We finally arrived at The Log Cabin Pancake House. Home of the famous French Royale Sauce, which you may have heard me tweet about just a tad bit. It averages $80 a gallon. I got almost a gallon's worth. But some of it's for gifts. Really.

Now. If you're an astute reader or an avid follower you'll notice Johnny & Vicky Tyler there at our table, famed from this previous post. They generally have the misfortune to be taking their anniversary weekend in Gatlinburg the same weekend that we are up there for our annual shopping trip. When this happens, we usually meet for breakfast. And usually Johnny buys... because that's the type of guy he is.

-

So we met them for our annual breakfast smothered in French Royale Sauce, followed by shopping Gatlinburg. And it was THEN, at Mr. Tablecloth, that Jen's dream came true, it started snowing.

Out we went with glee to dance in the snow.

-

-

-

-

-
-
-
... and you know the rest of the story...

Money, Money, Money, Muh-neee

-
-

The first thing we do in Gatlinburg is watch Lisa spread her money all over the bed and count it.
-
-

Each night before bed, she does it again & usually has more even though she spent some.
-
-
-

This year she didn't do it much, strange.
-

But this year..... Oh yes.....

Emma picked up on it!

-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
And look! Look there behind her!
Doesn't Lisa look proud, just sitting there & watching her.
Like a teacher watching her prized student.
-
(Or like me watching Emma suck down a double blended decaff pumpkin spice frappacino.)

All Emma, All the Time (Gatlinburg, TN)

It's Emma Week here in The World According to Poof.
-
I just spent several days with my niece, Emma, & I will take several posts to tell you about our time together.
-
Emma referred to me as "Pookie" all week, a name my granddaughter has given me. Emma likes to suck two fingers instead of a thumb and she likes to rub someone's hair while she sucks her fingers. This brings her great comfort. Glumly, right away on Day One, she informed me that my hair "is not silky," it absolutely was unacceptable. None-the-less, several times a day, she would pop her fingers in her mouth & rub my hair, hoping perhaps it finally turned silky, never finding it silky, and sadly dropping her fingers, shaking her head and saying, "Pookie, your hair still isn't silky." Coarse hair and all, she remained faithful to me for the entire trip. -
-

Our trip was to the Great Smoky Mountains, Gatlinburg, TN, one of our favorite places to visit. It was the annual ladies shopping trip where we do most of our Christmas shopping & a whole lot of female bonding. (and maybe a smidgen of eating)

I took Jen along this year and will have some exciting stories to share about her this week, as well as the other ladies. You don't want to miss that.

Several of our meals were fireside. Gatlinburg was chilly and even gave us a few snowflurries.

--

-

-
--
We were in Mr. Tablecloth when the snow began falling. Jen, of course, was the first out, with me & Emma on her heels. Here we are trying to catch the snowflakes.
-
-


-

-
-



-


Emma found herself back in Starbucks, of course. When spending a few days with me, Starbucks is a requirement. She really didn't seem to mind one bit.


-


-
-

-


-


Here she is using her two-straw method on Mimi's decaff pumpkin spice frap.
-

-


-





-

-

And here she is loving this lil snow globe we found in the pottery store.

-

That's it for now -- your "sneak preview" of Emma Week. Tune in tomorrow as we delve into the details.