Wednesday, December 9

SC, Blackville: A Breakfast Joint

I woke up wondering what kind of breakfast joints they have in nearby Blackville. It's a strange thought upon waking, but better than yesterday's perplexing waking thought: "Pick Pickler."
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Jumped in my car, cranked it, began heading out and found a txt message from Connie "Coffee?"
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"Not today. I'm heading to Blackville to see how they serve My Usual over there. Wanna go?"
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I think this is a YES.
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We arrived in Blackville to find no obvious place to eat breakfast. So I stopped at Willie's Hardware.
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If you want to know anything about a small town, stop at the hardware store.
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"Where do the locals eat breakfast around here?"
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Mrs. Willie recommended I go straight at the stop light and pull into the Golden Pantry gas station across from Subway, they make a breakfast there.
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So we did.
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I didn't find any locals eating any breakfast.
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But I found this sweetheart and she told me "Oh, you have to go to Shelton's!" (like I have lots of options??) "Go back through the light, up the hill and it's at the blinking light, on the right."
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Lawsy I didn't know there was a hill in Blackville.
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There's the hill.
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We took a deep breath and ascended the hill.
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Promising. They used to have a drive thru. Boy, this is big time, I was getting excited.
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When she recommended this place, I knew it would be rough. I've passed this place many times and have always been too scared to stop.
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Unemployed men hanging around, leering, chewing. That's not exactly what I meant by "where the locals hang out."
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We clutched our purses close, kept our eyes to the ground and made our way inside. Sure enough, there was a grill back there behind the counter. The cook wasn't too friendly, but I managed to squeak out my usual.
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Connie was excited -- they offered fried bologna, grits n pudding, a real country breakfast joint. ..... and they even had a healthy menu.... see!
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We made our way to the dining section -- three 2-man booths by the windows. Lucky for us, one booth was available. It was covered in sticky food residue. Again, lucky for us, it was in the cleaning products aisle and clorox was only an arm's reach away.
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Connie, again, was excited. She got her a pork chop samwitch. You can't get a pork chop samwitch just anywhere, y'know.
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It's hard to mess up my usual -- one egg sunnyside up with toast. But it was sure messed up. Did I ask for partially undercooked and partially burnt toast?
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We didn't have any silverware or plasticware or anything, so for the first time in my life, I just picked that sucker up with my hands and took a bite. Did I look happy? 'Cause I don't think I was happy.
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and Connie said "Wait. What's that on the windowsill, just over your shoulder, Val?"
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"Don't look, don't look, don't look!" I squeaked.
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dang. She looked.
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Yeah, it was loaded with dead flies.
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By the time we were done, she was digging into her stomach calming pills. We passed 'em around.








4 comments:

rmorse154 said...

The weirdest place I ever ate was a Taco Bell drive through in nearby Bainbridge, NY. This was an old, converted garage. You drove through a trailer bay for the drive through window. You expected to get a lube and oil change or at least a car wash along with your order.

But, Val---this place wins the "weird" contest---hands down.

jen said...

so thankful we have KK!!!

driftwood said...

That egg of yours was OVERDONE not underdone. I also eat my eggs on toast but I would rather have overeasy - the runnier the better. And I thought that some of the places I stopped at while driving truck were bad.

~Connie said...

Driftwood: I was there - the picture doesn't show how the egg really was cooked ... trust me, that thing was raw in most places with some fried edges! Eeeewwwww!!

Jen - I'm with you ... we really don't know how good we have it some times!!

Good one, Val!