The Queen's Croquet

As soon as the weather started warming up, I thought about our old croquet game. Maybe it was just on my mind from the recent Alice in Wonderland scene
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"...the balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets live flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double themselves up and to stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches. The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her flamingo: she succeeded in getting its body tucked away, comfortably enough, under her arm, with its legs hanging down, but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightened out, and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it WOULD twist itself round and look up in her face, with such a puzzled expression that she could not help bursting out laughing: and when she had got its head down, and was going to begin again, it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolled itself, and was in the act of crawling away:

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besides all this, there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she wanted to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers were always getting up and walking off to other parts of the ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion that it was a very difficult game indeed."
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But for whatever reason, I dug out the croquet and taught Eva to play and thus we had: The Queen's Croquet.
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I don't mean to whine, but can I register a complaint?
The Queen got to hit 5 times to my 1 and The Queen got the green ball each time we played because it was "lucky."
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Croquet equipment:

• 9 WICKETS (the white arch thingy)
• 2 Posts(stakes)
• Mallets
• Balls.

Each mallet is colored to match it's corresponding ball. Each post has colored rings which indicate the order of play, the color on top goes first. That is to say, the green color does NOT always go first unless it is the color on the top of the post. (and it wasn't)
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There is a correct stance in croquet and this (pictured) is not it. However, in the Queen's Croquet, apparently you can stand however you wish. To play the game, place:

• The 2 Posts 72 feet apart.
• Wicket #1 - 7 feet in front of the Starting Post.
• Wicket #2 - 7 feet in front of #1 Wicket
• #3 - 14 feet to the right of and 1 foot in advance of #2.
• Wicket #4 - 22 feet in advance of #2 and in direct line with #1 & #2 and the post.
• Wickets #5,6,7,8,&9 at the same relative distances. Wickets #1,2,4,6,&7 should be in line with the 2 Posts.
• Wickets #3,5,8,&9 are called the Wing Wickets.

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The goal is to hit your ball from one post, through all the wickets, around the other post and back through all the wickets. Wickets must be done in order. The ball must always be struck, never pushed, unless you are playing The Queen's Croquet in which, apparently, you can push the ball, pull it, blow it, kick it, throw it and even pick it up and move it if you're under age 4.5.
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The game is started when a player places their ball 1/3 of the way between the starting post and the first wicket and smacks it.
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A player is allowed an additional hit if they pass through a wicket. A player is allowed two additional hits if they hit another ball.
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And, as Grampsy attempted to alert the Queen, when a player's ball is touching another ball, the player is allowed to put his foot on his own ball and strike it with the mallet, sending the other ball in any direction, leaving the players ball stationary.
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And another thing: A stroke is counted if the ball moves at all. Even if it moves a tiny pinch and rolls right smack back into its original position. That's your turn, buddy. Unless you're playing The Queen's Croquet. The Queen might then decide to take her mallets and wickets and go home.
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Alice soon came to the conclusion that it was a very difficult game indeed.
The players all played at once without waiting for turns, quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in a very short time the Queen was in a furious passion, and went stamping about, and shouting `Off with his head!' or `Off with her head!' about once in a minute.
Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had not as yet had any dispute with the Queen, but she knew that it might happen any minute, `and then,' thought she, `what would become of me? They're dreadfully fond of beheading people here; the great wonder is, that there's any one left alive!'