Guest Writer: Ruth Morse
I cannot do math in my head anymore. I can barely do it on paper. This complicates shopping for toilet paper. Is anyone else as confused as I am?
It used to be simple. Every brand except Scott's came in a four roll package. Every brand of TP was the same width. Every kind was double ply. Every brand had the same number of sheets per roll. It was easy to compare prices.
WHAT HAPPENED?
If you haven't noticed, some rolls are narrower than others. Some brands have shifted from the used-to-be-standard size of 4.5x4" per sheet to 4x4". That means I am forced to try and factor in square footage per roll. Huh?
Some are one-ply......two-ply......even three-ply are available. Some are quilted,....
some are embossed. There are single rolls, double rolls, even triple rolls, but those don't fit on my toilet paper holders. By the way, there seem to be no industry standards as to what DOUBLE ROLL means. It's probably not twice as long as a single roll. What gives? There's even one brand that screams BIG ROLL on the wrapping? Or LARGE ROLLS or even, heaven help us, BIG DOUBLE ROLLS!
some are embossed. There are single rolls, double rolls, even triple rolls, but those don't fit on my toilet paper holders. By the way, there seem to be no industry standards as to what DOUBLE ROLL means. It's probably not twice as long as a single roll. What gives? There's even one brand that screams BIG ROLL on the wrapping? Or LARGE ROLLS or even, heaven help us, BIG DOUBLE ROLLS!
There's ULTRA STRONG and there's ULTRA SOFT. And don't forget ULTRA PLUSH.
Have I mentioned I'm confused?
There are four pack rolls, six pack rolls, twelve double rolls equal to 24 single rolls. How in the world am I supposed to figure out the best deal?
I turned to Consumer Reports. Yes, indeedy, they have done extensive studies in determining the best toilet paper in terms of strength, tearability and softness. According to one article I read, "Strength is measured by how many lead pellets can be piled on a damp sheet of toilet paper before it breaks.
Wow. I feel better. THEY have decided that Quilted Northern Ultra Plush is the best deal. To gauge softness, 'trained sensory panelists touch and squeeze sheets of paper' in darkened rooms.
Oh wait...is that the kind that doesn't fit on my TP holder?
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...and one more thing......
uh, I'll get back to you when I remember it.
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The Cheap Senior Citizen is a Guest Writer who occasionally shares helpful hints she has learned through her experience.
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