Jun 26, 2011

Weekly News Digest

Hey remember these?  I used to gather crazy news stories and share them every now and then.  I kind of forgot about that until I discovered this outrageous news story and wanted to share it with you.

1.  Woman Dies of Heart Attack Caused by Shock of Waking Up at Her Own Funeral.  She started screaming as mourners gathered around her coffin, "her eyes fluttered but she only lived for another 12 minutes before she died for good."  Read it.

2.  Fried Kool-Aid Now Available at Fairs.  The San Diego Co. Fair introduces fried Kool-Aid.  "The 300-lb man behind the greasy treat, Charlie Boghosian says he has fried up 500 lbs since the fair started."   Read it.

3.  Hacked Road Sign Warns of Zombies in Northern KY.  "Nightly lane closures, zombies ahead."  Authorities aren't ammused and claim this prank is getting old.  Boo authorities, you old cranky pants.  Read it.

4.  Darwin Book Returned to Library 122 Years Late.  Librarian refers to patron as "the careless borrower."  Librarians are harsh!   But really.... Darwin?  Who cares?  "Where it's been we don't know.... maybe down the back of a couch."  See?  Nobody really cares.  Read it.

5.  Utah Man Accused of Eating Live Baby Rat.  The man put a video on facebook of him eating the rat.  Of course PETA reported and pursued it.   Don't nobody know nothin'?  I never put on facebook the things I do to rats.  Or cockroaches.  Read it.

6.  Deer with Wings Causes Power Outage in Montana.  A Northwestern Energy Lineman found the reason for the power outage was a dead fawn hanging way up on the power line.  Best guess is that an eagle dropped its prey.   But me?  I'm thinking it's a Santa sprint gone bad.  Read it.

The Grand Finale

7.  Prison Escapee Caught After Knocking on Wrong Door.  An escaped convict, still in prison uniform, knocked on a cabin door to ask to use the phone.  Unfortunately, the man who answered the door was an off-duty prison guard from the prison he just fled. You ever have a day like that?   Read it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I kinda like #7

I seem to have a day like this every day!!