Apr 15, 2012

Free Face Lift

Guest Writer: Ruth Morse

It has come to my attention that when I am going to [gasp] look in a mirror, I subconsciously arrange my face in a very pleasant expression. 

I raise my eyebrows slightly. This makes my eyes look less squinty and also makes the huge vertical frown line in my forehead a bit less like the grand canyon.

I stand straighter, head higher, shoulders back. This helps a tad with the turkey wattle under the chin. 

I raise the corners of my mouth slightly. This lessens the frown lines in my cheeks. 

Notice I said that I do this subconsciously. When I looked in the mirror with these few adjustments, this is the more pleasant face I thought the whole world was seeing.

I accidentally saw myself in the mirror and did not have time to assume the pleasant expression. Oh gag! 

We all know fat cheeks plump [pun intended] out wrinkles..... 
 I was born with fat cheeks. I have spent a lifetime cultivating them. In spite of that, gravity has been having its way in the above listed facial areas. Huge, huge frown lines in forehead. Huge, deep frown lines on either side of the mouth.  Why do those same wrinkles look so much better on Tom Selleck?

This was shocking to me. Here I thought the pleasant face I was seeing in the mirror was the face EVERYONE was seeing. 
Think older Mona Lisa.

Think older than dirt Wizard of Oz witch.


OK---here's my advice for anyone under the age of, say, 55. Practice the Mona Lisa look! Practice, practice, practice until that is your normal relaxed expression. It's too late for me. Gravity is not my friend and has etched deep lines in my visage. But it's not too late for you! The earlier you start, the better the results will be.

Think of the advantages! A lady told me recently that if you have white hair, people are ever so kind to you. For this lady, I don't think it was so much the white hair. She was bit round and had a happy expression. Think Mrs. Claus. People hold doors for her, carry things for her, talk nicely to her. If her expression was like the Wizard of Oz witch, even if her hair was snow white, do you think any of that would happen?

Not likely.

So invest in your future. Practice, practice, practice the pleasant expression. In the house, in the car, in the sunshine, in the rain. Get good at it. Make it second nature. No, better yet: MAKE IT FIRST NATURE! 

Your life will be ever so much better,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and it won't cost you a penny!

...and one more thing......
uh, I'll get back to you when I remember it.
The Cheap Senior Citizen is a Guest Writer who occasionally shares helpful hints she has learned through her experience.


Instead the face the world sees much of the time is a scarier, frownier, beastly face:


Anonymous said...

Where are thise people who treat gray haired fat ladies nicer I've yet to meeet them, most just ignore me, oops fat gray haired laies.

Ruth said...


I told you to make those picture tiny, tiny, tiny. Yikes! Why are they so large?

And what gives with the jumbo-tron font?

Grumble, groan, tsk.