Feb 6, 2014

Foggy Thinking, Lethargy

In the hormonal madness called menopause, I often find myself in a fog of confusion, staring blankly, wondering what I am supposed to be doing.  In addition to menopause, I have foggy thinking from the chemo I take and the blood cancer I have as well.  It presents in that I know I am supposed to be doing something, something more than just standing in the middle of the kitchen or driving around town.   But without a sticky note To-Do list or electronic calendar to look at, I’m at a loss.
Feeling less-than.
In a fog.

It is refreshing to me, at this stage of life, to have the gps, something mothers and grandmothers before me didn’t have to help them muck through.

The soothing voice, confidently telling me “Head West!!”   My shoulders straighten, I lift my head. 
I’ll head West.!!
That’s just the thing to do.

That soothing voice breaking down my life into step-by-step directions is very appealing to me.  I turn it on sometimes when I’m not even going anywhere.  I just want to hear someone who knows what they’re doing.  Someone who feels confident and full of hope.....

“Don’t panic.  In about ¾ miles, you’ll need to make a right.  But hang in there, I’ll let you know when and there’s a decelerating lane for you to make it a gradual change.  Ready now?  Ease on over to your right…..”

The fog is so thick some days, I can’t function.

I can do nothing but wonder what I should do. 
Somebody – anybody – just tell me what to do.

I miss my Nana.  She would pull me aside and whisper “This, too, shall pass.

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