Apr 21, 2018

52 Weeks: learn something new every week

I learned a couple of important things today.

1.  I think I've hit the final stage of grief - Acceptance.
     In a 5-year period:
  • I was a stay-at-home mom and my grown kids moved out
  • I was diagnosed with blood cancer
  • My 30-year marriage dissolved
  • I was in a car wreck in which a friend of mine died from her injuries, she's also my grandkids' other grandma
  • My father was diagnosed with cancer, had a tumor removed and radiation and is still fighting it, now with a chemo protocol.
My life has changed completely, very little of my old life remains visible.  All these losses have left me alone most of the time.  It's been an extraordinary experience.  I'm grateful for all the blessings I have - the kids are married and happy and successful, they live close and I see my grandkids a lot, I remain on the family property and while I struggle to pay bills like everyone else, I'm not devastated financially, my cancer has a fairly long shelf-life... probably, my dad is doing OK and is in his mid-seventies and has my mom there to help him.

Today, when the poet Derek Berry from Charleston wrote me a poem on a 72-degree sunny, beautiful day on the spring grass under a blooming dogwood tree in front of the statehouse Sherman and his troops bombarded, but did not destroy from his position in West Columbia across the frothy Congaree on his March to the Sea...... you get the picture? ... when said poet wrote this and I was able to smile instead of cry:

Well, I figured I finally hit Stage 7 of grief, the final stage.

2. (The Second Thing I Learned Today {in case you forgot where we were with this})  When I go out to photograph the wildlife in my woods, I need to lock Bogie, my cat, in the garage.  While I smiled at his frolicking after birds, I never dreamed he could really catch one.  With my 300 zoom lens to my eye and the staccato sound of the Canon shutter speed in my ear, Bogie caught the brilliantly red cardinal I was photographing, caught two in one bite, in fact.

Yes, I photographed the whole demise.  With a scrunched nose. And audible reprimands to the cat.  It was fascinating, really.  But in the future?  Boag stays in the garage.

What did you learn today?

No comments: